How to Really Forgive Someone

When someone hurts you, the pain can become consuming and affect all aspects of yourself - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Forgiviness is an act often declared as a step toward healing and growth. Being ready and willing and actually forgiving someone can be a process that takes time, self-reflection, confidence, and courage. Feeling or perceiving you were wronged is something personal and internal, whether or not an actual malevolence was intended. If there is a question about the nature of the incidenct, speak with the other party first before assuming the harmful behavior was purposeful. If someone clearly said something to hurt your feelings, physically abused you, affirmed negative statements about your character, or chastised you for the path you are on in life, you must deal with the consequences and how any insults influence you now. Reactively, you may feel like retorting back hurtfully, but this is not productive. If you must redeem yourself, do it with dignity and esteem. Own your responsibility in the matter and explain your perspective honestly and without judgment or bias. If the other person chooses to continue to berate or abuse then let the situation go and ask for a blessing of healing in the highest and best way. When you have processed the experience from a higher understanding, forgive the person for any mistake or error. You are not endorsing the hurtful act through forgiveness. You are only allowing yourself not to be hurt anymore by releasing anger, resentment, and frustration. Choose peace by filling and surrounding your heart and body with love and light.

I finally allow myself to forgive those who have hurt me now or in the past. I allow myself to be filled with love as old anger, resentment, and negative energy attachments are released. I am free!

Holistic Gratitude

Gratitude can be shown and expressed holistically - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Mentally, you can affirm how grateful you are in your thoughts and in your words. From you heart, your emotions can indicate the joy and experience of gratitude and love for all that you have and all that you are. Physically, you can give gifts of appreciation, such as cards, or you can show someone how thankful you are by cooking her a beautiful breakfast or dinner. Spiritually, you can go within to a place of silence and honor the connection you have with God, your higher self, and any spirit guides. You can also bless your purpose and relationships with yourself, among loved ones, and with the world community.

I am holistically grateful. I show appreciation in my thoughts and words, feelings, actions, and connections. My holistic self is thankful for the air that I breathe, the loved ones in my life, my material possessions, and all of my life experiences.

Learning from Nature and Nurture

The Nature versus Nurture Theory explains how humans learn and integrate information. Based on the nature aspect, individuals are genetically born with attributes and your heredity plays a major role in how you live your life. The nurture side posits that your experiences are a product of your environment. It's difficult to pigeon-hole your personality, beliefs, patterns of behavior, and other holistic circumstances and sensory experiences into one or the other. Often a combination of genetic predisposition and learned behavior create the foundation for the life circumstances and roles you ultimately play out. Consider your predominant thoughts, feelings, actions, and connections with others. Which personality traits, relationships, and reactions to life events stem from an inherent, instinctual genetic pool, and which ones have you responded to based on knowledge or wisdom gained through external means? By identifying where your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors originate, you can honor them more as your own or something you've attached to but don't really identify with. Make sure what you're thinking, feelings, doing, and sensing comes from your true self, whether you were born with it or utilized integrated environmental information.

I honor myself and my life experiences as my own. Both my genetics and the environment play a role in the life I live. I acknowledge my thoughts, feelings, actions, and relationships as part of my true self. I detach with what no longer serves me or my purpose. I am confident and genuine with who I am and how I live my life.

Do Major Events Define Your Life?

Oftentimes, people describe their lives in terms of pinpoint dramatic events that have occurred. For example, "We lived in New Orleans pre-Katrina" or "My husband and I got along better before the miscarriage." Major incidents or changes, such as divorce, marriage, or job transfer, are aspects of life that need to be dealt with. However, when you define yourself, your relationships, and your contentment in relation to those chaotic times, you may lose sight of all the other moments that serve as the filling. How you handle the transitional periods is equally important to your reactions to critical incidents. During the stable, functional times of life, you may feel restless and unsettled because of an underlying worry or fear that some other upheaval will come and disrupt your life. In actuality though, the best thing to do is just to live in the moment and enjoy the simple pleasure of stability. Developing a sense of peace, serenity, and gratitude during the easy times can help you better cope during heightened periods of stress.

My life is defined by the simple, pleasurable moments of joy and fulfillment in my everyday life. I am living my life now and enjoy every moment of it! I embrace each moment as an opportunity to express love, happiness, and appreciation for all of life. I handle major life events from a place of peace, love, and trust.

Try Something New

When the daily grind seems too routine and you're aching for a change, try something new. Whether it's a new route to work or another type of morning bagel, you have the choice to decide another option. The power of free-will and decision-making ability gives you the freedom of being able to shift from the stagnant energy of consistent, automatic responses to occasional spontaneous routes. The same old same old can be comforting and stable. However, if you sense in your mind, body, heart, and soul that something needs to change and you're getting kind of bored with what's been happening, embrace the opportunity to try something different. A new course of action even in the simplest way can invoke fresh, inspiring energy and help you attract wondrous people, places, and situations into your life. Be a dynamic free spirit and choose a new path - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Start with whatever first comes to mind that you intuitively sense is ready to transform. Allow yourself to go with the flow of something new and different and have fun with your choice.

I embrace change because it is healthy to evolve and learn about new opportunities. Fresh perspectives inspire me and help me to attract exciting people, places, situations, and things into my life. I balance the comfort of stability with my free-spirited nature for spontaneous play and fun!