When Someone You Love Betrays You

Loved ones often make mistakes and you have probably learned to forgive children, parents, spouses, and siblings in the past. Perhaps the situation you were involved in seemed minor enough to let the person know how you felt and allow him to apologize and hopefully learn his own lesson. But what happens when a serious or major betrayal occurs between you and a close family member or friend? If a loved one deceived you or was disloyal to you, were you able to show compassion, empathy, and forgiveness, or have you bottled up anger, resentment, and hurt? It's important to let yourself process feelings. A betrayal or injustice is similar to a loss. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is known for her work with death and dying as it relates to loss and proposed the following five-step emotional process one experiences when going through loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. If a loved one hurts or betrays you, you may also sense these feelings, sometimes all in the same day. When grieving the loss of trust and connection, the time it takes to heal can vary. Ultimately, healthy coping involves acceptance and eventually forgiveness. Forgiving the person who you perceive caused you pain is different than saying what he or she did was OK. You are merely ready to release the burden of anger so that your own self-care can be tended to and you can move forward fearlessly in life.

My eternal love for others transcends human mistakes; however, I clearly set boundaries and know when it is time for me to take care of myself. I consciously choose experiences and relationships that I feel are in my highest and best interest. I am able to forgive and it feels liberating.