When Someone You Love Betrays You

Loved ones often make mistakes and you have probably learned to forgive children, parents, spouses, and siblings in the past. Perhaps the situation you were involved in seemed minor enough to let the person know how you felt and allow him to apologize and hopefully learn his own lesson. But what happens when a serious or major betrayal occurs between you and a close family member or friend? If a loved one deceived you or was disloyal to you, were you able to show compassion, empathy, and forgiveness, or have you bottled up anger, resentment, and hurt? It's important to let yourself process feelings. A betrayal or injustice is similar to a loss. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is known for her work with death and dying as it relates to loss and proposed the following five-step emotional process one experiences when going through loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. If a loved one hurts or betrays you, you may also sense these feelings, sometimes all in the same day. When grieving the loss of trust and connection, the time it takes to heal can vary. Ultimately, healthy coping involves acceptance and eventually forgiveness. Forgiving the person who you perceive caused you pain is different than saying what he or she did was OK. You are merely ready to release the burden of anger so that your own self-care can be tended to and you can move forward fearlessly in life.

My eternal love for others transcends human mistakes; however, I clearly set boundaries and know when it is time for me to take care of myself. I consciously choose experiences and relationships that I feel are in my highest and best interest. I am able to forgive and it feels liberating.

Projecting Insecurities at Others

When you become stressed or emotionally upset and lash out at others, it's important to understand what caused the anger outburst. Often, personal fears or insecurities get disguised as projections of blame toward someone else. Look at the patterns of anger or resentment in your life, either at particular people or others in general. Then examine your life from an outside of the box perspective. If you are mad at someone for babying her child too much or for spending too much money on unnecessary items, you need to first examine your personal aspects related to those life areas. Did you raise your own child in a way you regret? Or, are you spending excessive amounts of money on leisure activities or products? The most difficult thing in life may be to look inside yourself, discover your own faults and mistakes, and then actually admit them. Once you realize that you may be projecting your own fears and insecurities at others, especially ones you love, you can then start to evolve through a personal growth and development process.

Before I express any harsh feelings toward someone else, I take a deep breath. I slow down and remain in the present moment. My feelings are my own and if I am upset with someone, I communicate in a confident, assertive, and productive manner.

Conscious Engagement in Romance

Romantic love can elicit a range of emotions such as anticipation, joy, sorrow, heartache, passion, bliss, and fear. If you wish to sustain a healthy, committed romantic relationship, you have to consider where you are on your own journey in life. A healthy, evolving you plus a healthy, evolving partner equals a healthy, evolving relationship. Not all romantic relationships are meant to remain until death, but they all serve a purpose in at least one chapter of your life. Before you enter into a romantic partnership, examine your own sense of independence, life choices and patterns, financial stability, emotional and mental balance, and sense of contentment with life. Look at any patterns that you've repeated in past relationships and seek to understand the underlying message and lesson so that you can grow, develop, and improve. Consciously engaging in a love partnership means promoting a mind, body, heart, and soul connection. Set the intention to meet someone who resonates with you on all levels and be open to receiving an amazing experience.

I consciously participate in my romantic relationship. I love to connect with my partner on a holistic level. The amazing romantic person I attract is a life partner whom I can evolve alongside. We understand each other and connect physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Love Is the Answer

Love is a universally positive emotion that serves to transcend any illusion of fear in whatever form it may take. If you find it hard to extend loving feelings to those who have hurt you in the past, start by showing yourself love. Mentally, you can infuse your thoughts with love by transforming self-defeating patterns and words into empowering intentions and affirmations. When you have an unhealthy or non-productive thought about yourself, take a deep breath. Cancel out the effects of it by declaring, "Cancel, clear, delete," and re-word the statement from a place of self-love. If you constantly think, "I'm sick of my big thighs!" You can rephrase and affirm, "My body is the temple of my soul. It is sacred and I vow to respect it with love and kindness." Closing your eyes and breathing while affirming something positive and healthy can help you remain in the moment. Visualize loving, pure energy flowing throughout your entire being and into every cell. The mental-emotional aspect of change can be the hardest. Explore emotional issues from your family of origin or past relationships in which your needs were unmet. Perhaps your father mistreated you or your ex-girlfriend verbally abused you. Before physical change can endure, the underlying mental, emotional, and spiritual concerns have to be dealt with and handled healthily. Improved thoughts are only one aspect of change. Believing in yourself and believing you deserve good and deserve to be loved is integral for creating authentic and solid change.

I love me and all that I encompass. Joy, peace, bliss, and love radiate from all aspects of my being. My mind, body, heart, and soul exude love for myself, my friends and family, my community, and the world. Love is the key and answer to healing me and healing the world.

Co-Dependency on Others

When you are living in an authentic reality manifested from your own feelings, thoughts, desires, and beliefs, you are less likely to be or become co-dependent on someone else's attitudes or traits. Co-dependency weakens individualism, originality, and creative potential. Being co-dependent, especially on those with addictive tendencies, is usually a learned behavior that can be passive-aggressive in nature. In the clinical sense, co-dependency can be seen as an addiction problem that has to be dealt with psychologically. In day-to-day events, you can examine if you are living, thinking, feeling, and believing from your own consciousness and heart's truest desires. Or, are you basing your reality on someone else's fluctuations in emotions, actions, and relationships? Detaching and cutting literal and metaphoric cords to another person in a co-dependent relationship can help you feel liberated and free to finally live your own life authentically.

I am true to my own needs, desires, values, and beliefs. I form healthy relationships with others and clear boundaries are set. I am free to express my own beliefs, individual characteristics, and interests. I respect other people's paths and detach compassionately.

Learning to Be Non-Judgmental

While living a human existence you are in a position to make decisions based on what you feel is right or best for you and your family. In doing so, you often have to examine the thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and character traits of others' and the situations they present. Sometimes you can get caught up in feeling what's right for you is also right for someone else. If you make a judgment on another you may tend to belittle or impose your opinion on that person or his or her experiences. In order to maintain your power and confidence without hurting someone else's feelings, you can choose a position of discernment and nonjudgment instead. Discernment allows you to think and feel from a sense of esteem, courage, and self-care so that you can maintain your decision and boundaries confidently without passing judgment on someone else's choices. You can simply declare, "I prefer things to be done this way as I feel it is the best decision for me and my loved ones."



I choose from a place of confidence and discernment, not judgment. I only have control of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and relationships. I allow others to honor their own paths without passing judgment on them, but it doesn't mean I have to agree or side with them also.

How to Really Forgive Someone

When someone hurts you, the pain can become consuming and affect all aspects of yourself - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Forgiviness is an act often declared as a step toward healing and growth. Being ready and willing and actually forgiving someone can be a process that takes time, self-reflection, confidence, and courage. Feeling or perceiving you were wronged is something personal and internal, whether or not an actual malevolence was intended. If there is a question about the nature of the incidenct, speak with the other party first before assuming the harmful behavior was purposeful. If someone clearly said something to hurt your feelings, physically abused you, affirmed negative statements about your character, or chastised you for the path you are on in life, you must deal with the consequences and how any insults influence you now. Reactively, you may feel like retorting back hurtfully, but this is not productive. If you must redeem yourself, do it with dignity and esteem. Own your responsibility in the matter and explain your perspective honestly and without judgment or bias. If the other person chooses to continue to berate or abuse then let the situation go and ask for a blessing of healing in the highest and best way. When you have processed the experience from a higher understanding, forgive the person for any mistake or error. You are not endorsing the hurtful act through forgiveness. You are only allowing yourself not to be hurt anymore by releasing anger, resentment, and frustration. Choose peace by filling and surrounding your heart and body with love and light.

I finally allow myself to forgive those who have hurt me now or in the past. I allow myself to be filled with love as old anger, resentment, and negative energy attachments are released. I am free!

Holistic Gratitude

Gratitude can be shown and expressed holistically - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Mentally, you can affirm how grateful you are in your thoughts and in your words. From you heart, your emotions can indicate the joy and experience of gratitude and love for all that you have and all that you are. Physically, you can give gifts of appreciation, such as cards, or you can show someone how thankful you are by cooking her a beautiful breakfast or dinner. Spiritually, you can go within to a place of silence and honor the connection you have with God, your higher self, and any spirit guides. You can also bless your purpose and relationships with yourself, among loved ones, and with the world community.

I am holistically grateful. I show appreciation in my thoughts and words, feelings, actions, and connections. My holistic self is thankful for the air that I breathe, the loved ones in my life, my material possessions, and all of my life experiences.

Learning from Nature and Nurture

The Nature versus Nurture Theory explains how humans learn and integrate information. Based on the nature aspect, individuals are genetically born with attributes and your heredity plays a major role in how you live your life. The nurture side posits that your experiences are a product of your environment. It's difficult to pigeon-hole your personality, beliefs, patterns of behavior, and other holistic circumstances and sensory experiences into one or the other. Often a combination of genetic predisposition and learned behavior create the foundation for the life circumstances and roles you ultimately play out. Consider your predominant thoughts, feelings, actions, and connections with others. Which personality traits, relationships, and reactions to life events stem from an inherent, instinctual genetic pool, and which ones have you responded to based on knowledge or wisdom gained through external means? By identifying where your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors originate, you can honor them more as your own or something you've attached to but don't really identify with. Make sure what you're thinking, feelings, doing, and sensing comes from your true self, whether you were born with it or utilized integrated environmental information.

I honor myself and my life experiences as my own. Both my genetics and the environment play a role in the life I live. I acknowledge my thoughts, feelings, actions, and relationships as part of my true self. I detach with what no longer serves me or my purpose. I am confident and genuine with who I am and how I live my life.

Do Major Events Define Your Life?

Oftentimes, people describe their lives in terms of pinpoint dramatic events that have occurred. For example, "We lived in New Orleans pre-Katrina" or "My husband and I got along better before the miscarriage." Major incidents or changes, such as divorce, marriage, or job transfer, are aspects of life that need to be dealt with. However, when you define yourself, your relationships, and your contentment in relation to those chaotic times, you may lose sight of all the other moments that serve as the filling. How you handle the transitional periods is equally important to your reactions to critical incidents. During the stable, functional times of life, you may feel restless and unsettled because of an underlying worry or fear that some other upheaval will come and disrupt your life. In actuality though, the best thing to do is just to live in the moment and enjoy the simple pleasure of stability. Developing a sense of peace, serenity, and gratitude during the easy times can help you better cope during heightened periods of stress.

My life is defined by the simple, pleasurable moments of joy and fulfillment in my everyday life. I am living my life now and enjoy every moment of it! I embrace each moment as an opportunity to express love, happiness, and appreciation for all of life. I handle major life events from a place of peace, love, and trust.

Try Something New

When the daily grind seems too routine and you're aching for a change, try something new. Whether it's a new route to work or another type of morning bagel, you have the choice to decide another option. The power of free-will and decision-making ability gives you the freedom of being able to shift from the stagnant energy of consistent, automatic responses to occasional spontaneous routes. The same old same old can be comforting and stable. However, if you sense in your mind, body, heart, and soul that something needs to change and you're getting kind of bored with what's been happening, embrace the opportunity to try something different. A new course of action even in the simplest way can invoke fresh, inspiring energy and help you attract wondrous people, places, and situations into your life. Be a dynamic free spirit and choose a new path - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Start with whatever first comes to mind that you intuitively sense is ready to transform. Allow yourself to go with the flow of something new and different and have fun with your choice.

I embrace change because it is healthy to evolve and learn about new opportunities. Fresh perspectives inspire me and help me to attract exciting people, places, situations, and things into my life. I balance the comfort of stability with my free-spirited nature for spontaneous play and fun!

Refocusing Thoughts and Feelings About Finances

During tough economic times, it's easy to regress to the mentality of "I can't" or "I don't have" because of the current financial situation you may be in. From what we know of the Law of Attraction principles and the energy of thoughts, focusing or complaining about the negatives will only reinforce that deficit vibration. In the heat of the moment when your mind or voice is rambling on worrying about money matters, take a deep breath. This will help re-center your mind, body, heart, and soul on the immediate present. Once you've regrounded yourself, say either out loud or to yourself, "I cancel, clear, and delete any negative affirmations regarding my money situation." Now start with the positive process of attraction with your thoughts. Say an affirmation of abundance such as, "I am fully supported in life with financial freedom, abundant blessings, and prosperous opportunities." Next use a visualization and imagination exercise to fully experience the sights, smells, tastes, sounds, tactile sensations, and emotions of success, comfortable living, and prosperity. See in your mind's eye you working in your dream career - the type of work you would like to do, the hours you want, the perfect location or office, the salary you desire, and the staff you would like to work with. Envision you and your family living in your dream home - playing with your pet, swinging on a porch swing, cooking BBQ in the backyard, and lying on warm silky sheets. Feel the joy and gratitude in your heart for these blessings. You can also call upon the angels of abundance to help align your vibration to attract what you desire. Be ready for change and follow through on divinely guided messages.

My thoughts, feelings, actions, and connections attract all that is good, healthy, and positive into my life. I immediately stop negative thinking and start focusing my attention on gratitude, blessings, and success. I work my magic and use my natural passions and talents in a creative way to bring blessings and healings to all involved.

Healing with Nature

Healing with nature can involve the use of several aspects related to the environment, plants, animals and crystal kingdom. Just being outside in the fresh air and sunlight for a few minutes each day is therapeutic. Because water is symbolically related to emotional issues, using a visualization exercise to cleanse away fear or stress with the ocean, rain, shower, or bath water with sea salts can help alleviate mental and emotional anxiety. Crystals and gemstones carry a vibrational frequency and, therefore, can be aligned with the chakra system within one's subtle energetic field in order to help restore balance and functionality. Interacting with pets can increase joy and assist in the healing process. Plants are known for readily absorbing negative psychic debris and purifying it. The element of fire can be incorporated into rituals of transformation through acts of forgiveness, surrender, and release. Actively participating in environmental clean-up initiatives can help you connect with community members and honor your local flora and fauna. You can tap into the power of the moon phases for a new moon manifestation project. Through creativity and imagination, you can devise ways which Mother Earth and all of its components can assist in holistic healing and recovery.

I welcome the power of nature and Mother Earth for healing on all levels. By honoring the earth, air, fire, water, and spirit of life, I also honor myself and actions. I am inspired by the healing effects of plants, animals, and the environment. My solar plexus radiates with love, light, and healing restorative energy.

Raising Personal and Societal Standards

Standards and expectations you have set for yourself have a connection to the worldwide community. If you deem yourself worthy enough and if you are able to set boundaries for not tolerating anything but what you feel is best, then you will project out into the environment a certain sense of respect, value, and commitment to excellence. As each person reaches a level of consciousness such as this, the nature and consciousness of humanity can be influenced, if only one person and situation at a time. Will you accept a husband that says, "I may drink alcohol every night but at least I don't hit you" or a teenage daughter that claims, "I may be having sex at 14 but at least I'm not pregnant." Your attitudes and beliefs about what you and your family deserve and what you will accept as your standard contributes to society's standards. If your self-expectations are low, you are reflecting onto your culture and community less than what is your best. Society has become blase' about what's socially acceptable behavior and what is deviant behavior and shouldn't be tolerated. Just look at the early 1900s compared to now. What is accepted now within families, relationships, and personal lives would have not been tolerated then. Increase your standards and attract into your life the highest and best people, places, and situations. Project out into the world a consciousness that mirrors goodness, integrity, respect, and family values.

I respect myself and my loved ones enough to say "no" to what I feel is not in our highest and best interest. My thoughts, feelings, actions, and connections are based on respect, integrity, and an interest in family values. I contribute holistically and purposefully to my community. I show compassion and forgiveness for others who may not decide on what's healthy, but I choose to surround myself with what serves my highest good.

Changing Negative Talk about Others into Positive Self-Talk

Gossip or negative talk about others by its nature is draining. When you talk about someone else in less than a positive or loving light, you are impacted in a negative way as well. Occupying your mind, emotions, and actions with hurtful, angry, or resentful comments and statements is self-defeating and depleting. When you persistently think or feel negatively, whether about yourself or others, you will continually attract drama and negative energy into your own life. Your focus on rage, betrayal, or vengeance compounds itself because your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs create your reality. It is imperative to re-set your mind, body, heart, and soul to positive self-empowerment. Transform the self-destructive attitude and patterns to that which uplifts, inspires, and motivates yourself and others. You are worth the time, energy, and positive focus so stop preoccupying yourself with what you can not change or what you believe is juicy gossip about someone else. You are responsible for yourself so make your time on Earth count toward personal empowerment.

I empower myself through positive self-talk. I choose to increase personal power through positive affirmations and uplifting emotions. I attract into my life that which I focus on, and I choose to focus on inspiring and motivating thoughts, feelings, actions, and connections.

Holistic Healing from Past Negative Events

Your past has shaped you into the person you are today - mind, body, heart and soul. Circumstances from your past may have been healthy and beneficial, traumatic and life-changing, or neutrally somewhere in between. Though you may feel grateful for the positive experiences, you may also curse the negative ones or those people you perceive were responsible for creating them. If you find yourself still holding resentment, anger, and blame for negative events from your past, perhaps it is time to forgive and let go. Emotions such as those can occupy your mind with negativity, stress your physical body, pervade your heart with unsettling emotions, and tear away at your soul.

Return to the present moment. Are you safe? Do you have a roof over your head? Can you choose to be happy? Can you engage in fun activities? Do you feel someone is ruining your life right now? Are you able to stop thinking about the past and focus on the present? Can you find the blessings in past turmoil? Are you able to help or inspire others from your experiences?

Empower yourself now by taking responsibility for your holistic self and creating a new future based on self-awareness, positive growth, and a transformed perspective.

I surrender any negativity related to my past. It is the present and this moment is what I choose to focus on. I am now creating an empowered future based on an empowered sense of self. I choose peace and refuse to allow negative thoughts, feelings, and actions from my past to prevent me from reaching my potential. I am strong!

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

You may have heard the saying, "I am my own worst enemy" and at times agreed to the claim. Though treating others well is important, consider how you treat yourself. Are you consistently showering yourself with love and respect, or are you being an enemy to yourself - consciously or subconsciously causing dysfunction, chaos and imbalance? You are a holistic being who requires healthy attention to all life aspects and areas in order to manifest true progress and reach human potential. Keep your thoughts and words regarding yourself honest, affirming, and focused on your inner passions and dreams. Lift your emotions from self-defeating sadness and victim consciousness to ones that feel empowering, confident, and energizing. Create relationships of integrity with others who are healthy, supportive, and inspiring. Use personal development or spiritual awareness techniques to help get you started. Honor your body as a sacred vessel. It is your vehicle to express your true divine nature. Eat healthily, rest properly, and exercise for maximum benefit. Connect spiritually to your higher self, God, angels, Buddha, Jesus or with whomever you are divinely aligned. Prayer, meditation, journaling, and reflection can promote self-discovery, understanding of life circumstances, and community support. Be good to your holistic self - mind, body, heart and soul.



I treat myself with kindness, love and respect. I honor my mind, body, heart and soul for the brilliant gifts they are. I am grateful for this time on Earth and steadily and progressively move forward on my journey to reach my full potential. I am my own friend.

Holistic Healing Effects of Music

Music has several components to it, including the lyrics, melody, rhythm, instrumentation, pitch, movement, and voice. Undeniably, music can have an effect on your mind, body, heart, and soul. When you want to feel pumped up and energized, a fast-beat, rockin' song can help get you there. When you feel romantic and want to be intimate with your partner, a sappy love song can set the mood. When you need inspiration, listening to spiritual music can uplift you. When you just want to relax your mind and regain focus, easy listening can soothe the chatter. Dancing and body movement to music can also be therapeutic. Allow your ego, heart, mind, and body to release stagnant energy, negative emotions, and draining attachments as you sway, pound, clap, and connect with an ancient aspect of your soul. See yourself as a tribal, creational being close to the physical and metaphoric cradle of civilization. Sound is believed to be the primordial element of our existence: "In the beginning, there was the Word," Masonic (mother sound), Aum is the eternal sound of all that exists.

I listen to music that frees my mind, nurtures my heart, moves my body, and stirs my soul. I connect with my creational roots and allow music to heal my mind, body, heart, and soul. I am one with the universal vibration.

Comparing Your Relationship Partner to Parents

Have you ever compared or contrasted your romantic partner with either your mother or father, i.e. your husband with your father or your wife with your mother? Your family of origin can have strong influences (both good and bad) on your values, beliefs, personality, and even the foods that you enjoy. When you develop a commitment with someone special, you may inadvertently take notes and compare that person with the way your mom or dad did things. Making comments like, "I'll only eat chocolate cake that my mom bakes!" or "My dad could easily fix that!" can be hurtful to your partner and create tension in your relationship. It's important to think prudently before your verbalize or act on your reflexive sentiments. The relationship you are in now is the one you need to foster, feed with happiness, and continue to evolve. Be open to different perspectives and approaches from your partner, even if they vary greatly from what you've been accustomed to since you were a child.



I honor the romantic relationship with my partner as our own. I am open to receiving all the good my partner has to offer. New experiences and delights come to our relationship now. I release past hurts from my family of origin dynamics and now focus my current relationship intentions on good, love, and joy.

Do You Ever Think Beyond Yourself?

Self-care is important, but having the ability to think about another's needs is also integral for conscious personal development. On a daily basis, do you find yourself naturally wanting to help other people? Or, are you so consumed with your own world that you neglect to soulfully connect with those around you? Without compromising your boundaries, values, or morals you can participate in the giving and receiving exchange of energy that is part of the universal flow. Some people, without even thinking twice, are part of this energy, often subconsciously, because it is inherent in their nature. For example, they'll automatically slow down when they see a line of cars built up and let others merge onto their lane. Or if a friend's child gets sick at a birthday party, they are right there helping the mom clean up. Examine your attitudes and beliefs about being there for others in need. Is it natural for you to want to help? If not, what are the reasons, boundaries, and walls you've set up that prevent you from being of service to people, animals, or environments in need?

Without compromising myself, I give and love openly. It feels natural to me to be of service to others. I enjoy participating in the universal exchange of energy and feel part of a conscious, connected world. When all is stable and functional in my world, I am able to think, feel, and act beyond myself in a genuine, caring manner.